My big sister asked me the other day if there was ever a time when I sat down with any of my kids to watch television together. I reluctantly replied no. Because during my early married years, I was too busy looking after my then husband and his legal and political careers, managing the household, and focusing on my own personal development.
At 20, I was way too young to understand the real maternal role of a mother, relegating most of the nurturing and care of the kiddos to their nannies. Take note, I said “most” because I did spend some quality time with my kids especially during cuddling sessions, school events, and other recreational activities. By then, television was still too new and their programming was not as imaginative and ingenious as it is today.
“Well then,” my sister said, “you missed out on a lot of things.”
For her, watching TV with her 7-year-old granddaughter was such pure joy and a revelation. She simply could not believe that she would enjoy the simple story lines of “My Little Pony”. Or how the children’s stories tell of kindness, friendship, of not taking advantage of others, of not biting off more than one can chew, and choosing family over becoming a princess – all relating to life lessons that kids can understand and remember.
My sister was so amazed that her granddaughter could even succinctly explain why the stories ended the way they did and why she knew that the bad characters would repent and turn out good in the end.
Why am I bringing this up? Because in my heart I believe that a child who had been exposed to such beautiful concepts would never tolerate hurting and getting his way with people. That a child who had been taught early on about the importance of family would never ever put down, vilify, or even abuse a familial relationship.
Maybe you think that I, too, am living in a magical world just like the ponies in Equestria – where people are beautiful and tender-hearted. Sometimes, I think I do. I would like to think that I could aspire, succeed, and do no wrong with the support of my family, that if ever I should go the wrong path, someone in my family will always steer me right.
Proudly I can say that my clan is all that and I am fortunate to have the staunchest backers in my family who will never let me down. Mind you, I do not claim to be the greatest of all mothers, but I feel I have reared my kids well enough to be responsive, loving, and devoted to their families.
On the other hand, there is what I call a toxic relationship. I’m sure a lot of you have experienced this first hand – in love, friendship and yes, even in family. Some of you might have even stood witness to these types of relationship. What is more heartbreaking is that it can happen to those who are closest to us.
Just imagine being in a relationship with someone who exults in dehumanizing his partner, or betraying a friendship, and sometimes destroying a family for whatever vested interest or gain?
How about long-time partners who have lost love and respect for each other? Or children who mistreat their old parents, forgetting the sacrifices made just so they can have a bright future?
What about parents who physically or mentally abuse their kids, and neighbors who turn a blind eye? Shouldn’t someone be doing something about this?
There are even worse cases out there, most of them involving legalities which takes years to resolve, such as siblings fighting over their inheritance. I can give you a dozen and one exposition of such demeanors but we have to think of people’s right to privacy and other ethical and even legal considerations.
For sure, there is no sadder scenario than that of a father going against his son, a mother against daughter, or a sibling against siblings. What is more revolting is seeing sick-minded people pull the strings – a home wrecker or a malevolent in-law hell-bent in taking all of the family’s money and possessions, for example. Whatever the reason, there are some people who just get a kick from watching other people suffer.
Surely, there must be a better way to cope with emotional change. My younger sister suggested defining my own brand of happiness. After all, she said, the experience of being happy and what that means to me comes from within me. Is that all there is to it, truly? To fully live and experience happiness, one must make a conscious decision to choose to be “happy” every single day. After all, happiness is an outcome of well-nurtured, positive relationship with others.
How then might one begin to experience everyday happiness? Maybe, I can start with humming a happy tune while prepping my morning coffee or even wear a smile while doing so. Did you know that a smile is a natural beautifier?
Have you noticed when you are mad and how your feelings change when you smile? If that’s not enough to make my day I can even try giving myself a dose of boisterous laughter. Isn’t laughter considered the world’s best medicine?
Anyway, I don’t like to dwell too much on topics that give me the hiccups. I would much rather be a Pollyanna, content with all the good things in her life. In troubled times, I know exactly what to do. I will wake up a little earlier and spend some time empowering myself – whisper a prayer of thankfulness, walk some, have that hot cup of coffee and the rest of the hours will be just marvelous.
Do other people even truly care whether you’re happy or not? Seriously now. As we have already determined, no one but you are in charge of your own happiness. No one else should be able to decide it for you. Take it from me. As of today, I choose to be happy. And so I am.
A HAPPY AND BLESSED NEW YEAR EVERYONE! – NWI
