I pride myself on being an even-tempered, balanced person, not given to fits of temper or loud outbursts, regardless of the provocation. There is a secret to my serenity, a reason that I’m able to remain stone-faced and silent in the face of taunting, insults, and behavior that would send most people into a frenzy.
It’s called venting.
Have you ever noticed that pressure cookers and tea kettles have those little openings at the top that, when the pressure under the lid reaches a certain level, let out steam and make a whistling sound? That’s called venting, and yes, it’s to relieve the pressure so the lid won’t blow off.
People aren’t all that different from pressure cookers and tea kettles. Things can happen that build pressure up inside us, that cause our blood pressure to soar, and if that pressure is not relieved, it can have a negative effect on our physical and mental health. Thus, venting.
What is venting exactly. Well, it’s airing grievances, preferably to a sympathetic or at least neutral audience—or sometimes, to the person who is causing the problem. It’s called ‘getting it off your chest,’ or ‘clearing the air.’ Some people think it’s childish, but there are a lot of
benefits to venting.
It’s cathartic. It helps relieve frustration, anger, grief, or sorrow.
It can help you learn to accept. You learn to see what’s happening to you and move on.
It helps establish human connections. When you confide in someone you make them feel closer to you.
Venting helps you clear your head of what’s bothering you and enables you to move on.
It can help give you a better perspective. Venting can show you that you’re not alone and help you see the bigger picture and not become bogged down with the one little thing that’s bugging you.
We are social animals who want to feel part of something, and being able to share your burdens with others helps build those communal bonds. Frustration, anger, and grief can lead to stress that can be unhealthy, and venting can provide temporary relief—as long as you don’t overdo it.
There are a number of ways to relieve stress. Regular exercise, reading, writing, and games and past times that engage the brain’s higher cognitive functions.
I use them all. I start each day with stretching exercises and walk 2 – 3 miles every day. I’m a writer who writes a minimum of 2,000 words a day and am a voracious reader—I have to read to research my western novels to make them as historically accurate as possible. I play chess
and Go online, or in person when I can find an opponent. When we were living with our daughter, my granddaughter, Sammie, and grandson, Tommy, were my Go and chess opponents respectively. Currently I play multiple chess games—losing most of the time—against a friend in the UK, and play Go against the computer every day—I have yet to win a game. In addition, I buy copies of variety puzzle magazines every month and when I get tired of staring at my computer monitor and I don’t feel like reading, I pull out a magazine and work puzzles.
This is all good, but sometimes I just have to vent. It helps to be able to sit and look another person in the face and tell them what’s bothering me. I’m not looking for sympathy when I do this, in fact, it even helps when the person to whom I’m venting points out the weaknesses of my arguments. It’s the interaction that’s important. The vent has helped ease the pressure.
This column is, in fact, a form of venting.
So, thank you for listening. – NWI
