Why are the words “first time” so fraught with countless connotations – of fear, indecision, and even fickle-minded hesitation? As a baby you were hesitant to take that first step, afraid that you would tumble over and hurt yourself. Remember your fist day in school? How you were literally scared to go inside the classroom, because you did not know anyone?
How about your first kiss? Did you ask, in your mind, if you indeed know how to kiss? Would it just be a quick peck on the cheek, a sweet kiss on the lips, or something more intimate like those in the movies? How about your first time driving a car? Your first time applying for a job?
There are so many “firsts” in our lives – each one so remarkable that we either mark it in our memories as something to treasure or to reject as a bad experience.
Well, it was an anxiety-ridden morning the first time I joined radio broadcasting. Even with my big sister Dodo’s support, as soon as I turned on the microphone and saw the big, red ‘ON AIR’ sign, I thought I would have a heart attack! Never did I know that it was going to be my life’s PASSION. And while everyone thought it was an easy job, playing their favorite songs and saying their dedications, it can sometimes get pretty exhausting.
Three hours is the most that this disc jockey can give per show – though that is more than enough to make her listeners smile after hearing their requested songs being played on air.
So one fine morning, another “first” came to me after I was suddenly invited to write a journal in print. And without fail, I found myself again at a loss on what to do. I would sit down, lie on my back, walk around my garden – anything just to calm myself down. You know that feeling? That even when you’re talking to someone, reading a magazine, doing the grocery, or between taking coffee to wine sips – the question of whether or not to take the challenge kept on crossing my mind. It simply would not go away.
As the best way to conquer fear is to face fear itself, I did a short survey on Facebook and asked my friends what I should call my column. Family and well-meant friends readily and excitedly shared ideas on the best name for a blank page. Oh, how they rattled names like Look For a Star, Starlight Starbright, A Star For You, Down the Rabbit Hole, and a lot more, mostly with a star label, mainly maybe because I used that as my radio name.
I finally settled for “When Stars Align”, because when stars align, unexpected and nearly impossible things occur. Through pure luck or through the divine intervention of God, improbable but amazing things happen.
So, after some sleepless nights, I woke up earlier than usual today, having decided the night before that it was NOW or never. I’m writing a column. Quite a big deal isn’t it? And yes, I’m breathing a sigh of relief that finally, a decision has been made.
My sincere thanks goes to my family team – my children Chuck who exhibits creativity in a myriad of ways; Bojo, who always puts his ingenuity to work in dealing with me; Joy, Miggi, Steph and GB who will always be my greatest cheerers.
Thanks, too, to my big sister Dodo Paculan Soriano for everything that she is, and to whom nothing can compare; my little sister Pamela Sanchez Adriano for her fresh ideas; my niece Geraldine Soriano Solarte for her ready answers to all my questions.
I’m also grateful to U.S. Ambassador Charles Ray, my friend and confidante, and my wonderful friend and editor Allen, who has shown so much faith in my creative endeavors. You all inspire me with your innovative spirits.
Things have become easier to handle, and the challenge has now become a satisfaction. Thank heavens for first times, because it allowed me to look forward, anticipate and, finally, be a better me. – NWI