As I write this on November 8, 2025, I reflect on the loss of my father, Desiderio Tobungbanua Deferia, who passed 10 years ago today. I was at church when I received the call around 10 a.m. that he had died. The sadness of that moment is still vivid. Despite his passing, the memory of his strength and values continues to inspire me.
My father battled diabetes but lived actively and independently until he passed at 75. Even at his age, he did everyday tasks with determination—driving a manual car, opening windows, and unlocking doors himself. His resilience showed in how he carried himself and raised our family with strong values.
Initially, I hesitated to write this piece, my thoughts weighed down by recent devastating floods in Cebu and Negros. Yet, remembering my father’s humility, honesty, and dignity reminded me to share his story. Though our family was never wealthy, my father’s legacy was built on hard work and integrity, not material wealth.
My father’s path almost led him to law school, but he chose family over that dream, marrying my mother quickly after just a few days of courtship. A literature graduate from the University of Saint Augustine in Iloilo, he began his career teaching at Ateneo de Davao where my mother’s family lived.
His years in Davao had challenges. In the late 1960s, before Rodrigo Duterte’s time as mayor, he confronted gangsters who refused to pay for liquor from my grandmother’s store. This brave stance to defend family livelihoods proved his courage and principles early on and shaped his life journey.
Back in Negros, he taught at Holy Infant Academy in Cadiz City and later worked as a Public Relations officer for the Association of Sugar Cane Planters under Congressman Armin Gustilo. However, he preferred independence and found it hard to work under constant supervision, so he resigned to follow his own path.
He tried farming, piggery, and wooden box production on land lent by my grandfather. Later, he opened a battery business in Bacolod, Deferia Marketing, and even dabbled in politics briefly, but left it due to disillusionment with the system’s hypocrisy.
Alongside his business, my father was involved in civic organizations like the Bacolod Rainbow Lions Club. He supported journalists by establishing the Concerned Alliance of Media Practitioners (CAMP) in the 1980s while writing as a columnist for Kapawa News and later for Negros Daily Bulletin.
When business declined, he followed my mother to the US in the early 1990s but returned to our farm in 2003 for a peaceful life. He continued writing until he passed away a decade ago.
Throughout his life, he exemplified quiet strength, honesty, devotion to family, and respect. His simple but noble character left a legacy richer than any wealth, one of principles and perseverance.
Today, as I mark a decade since his passing, I find comfort in remembering him as a symbol of integrity and hard work. In a world tempted by shortcuts, his story reminds us that true success comes from honor and dedication. His legacy challenges us to live with the same grace and dignity he showed. That is why, when given the opportunity to become an opinion writer, I revived his column “Wise Or Otherwise,” a title that has been running since the early 1980s and will continue for as long as God and fate allows. ||
