I would like to start my column with a quote from one of the finest minds in history:
“Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love.” – Albert Einstein
Exactamente, Mr. Einstein! Love cannot be explained by applied science. You can liken falling in love to tumbling down a hill and hitting your head on a stone or being hit by a speeding train and boiing!! There goes all the exploding stars in the galaxy in glorious Technicolor!
I cannot even begin to explain, let alone properly define the word “Love”. Definitely, it encompasses a slew of not only varied emotions, but of being “infinite”. It is there in everything that we do, in wherever we go, in whatever we touch – and even interfere with our ability to think and make decisions. But for now, let us focus on the primal aspect of love as in, being in love.
For starters, I had the help of close friends who agreed to share their views on our topic today. You may agree, refuse to accept, or even refute some of the statements. But let us at least respect what they believe in.
So yes, there’s nothing as eternal and as unpredictable compared to loving a person, a thing, or even a pet. But what is that feeling, emotion, object, or action in all honesty?
During this pandemic when one was afforded an inordinate time to do whatever one pleases, I had squandered a lot of time in watching movies and TV series. As an affirmed K-drama fan, I naturally gravitated to Korean-made romantic films.
One of the most heart -wrenching and truly haunting moments in one of those K-dramas (can’t tell you the title!) was a scene between two brothers, with the younger one desperately imploring his older brother to please take care of his beloved or else he will die of heartbreak should anything happen to her.
I was never so moved in my entire life! Sure, this was just make-believe but still, the thought of someone loving you that much is something you will treasure all your life. Don’t you want to be a “forever” love? I certainly would.
I remember my first crush in college. I thought he was the most handsome guy I have ever set my eyes on. But nah, he turned out to be just another pretty face. As Dolly Parton would say, “He didn’t impress me much. “
Through the years, there would be other guys I would be drawn to and thought they could be my perfect partner, but nothing like that happened. When it did, however, I wasn’t prepared for it. I was young, too gullible and too easy to manipulate. Let’s just say my forever was just a lapse in judgment (Ha, ha! Is there a better way to say that?).
I still have mixed emotions when I look back at that time in my life. That union produced remarkable children who I would be extremely protective and would love me unconditionally. I live humbly in a comfortable home. I have enough food on my table, and I am happy in the company of friends. What more can I ask for from life?
Sometimes, in one’s quest for a lifetime partner, one experiences a futility or frustration in finding the one who can truly meet our expectations.
My friend, Sonrisa, who worked for a long time at the U. S. Embassy, wrote: “As I advance in years, gain more experience, I still say that love is something that makes life more meaningful. But I find that it is not easy to attract as we set standards on who to love. This is very common for career women. The more empowered we are, the more independent we become.”
“We practice self-love and self-preservation to the extent that we no longer feel that finding a partner is necessary. It may be the best feeling to be loved, but it takes a lot of sacrifice. And the more we see the world, the broader we see other options like pursuing altruism, helping others, etc.,” she added.
I love the element of free-spiritedness in her statement. After all, love cannot just mean exclusive love for one person. You can find love in your family, from your siblings to nieces or nephews, even from a loyal dog or cat – or from a vocation. For some, that is enough.
For others, throwing caution to the wind when it comes to falling in love gives them a sense of thrill and fulfillment. For Laura J., “Love is like a work of art designed to have no boundaries. Just because someone is not perfect does not make him any less worthy of love. Every kind of imperfection, no matter how dark or too shameful, can be overlooked. When it’s true love you cannot be cautious. You are willing to do or give everything, even die for love for it is selfless and compassionate”.
Laura’s husband passed away recently and since then, she has been living by her lonesome in Oregon.
Terry N. decided to separate from her husband after being married for 25 years. After the separation, her children encouraged her to go out on dates which culminated in another relationship lasting for almost nine years. This time, she and her partner decided to tie the knot in Scotland but that never took place.
What happened? It seemed that Terry realized, before it was too late, that she and her partner had what is known in legal lingo as “grave and irreconcilable differences”. After their breakup, he continued to harass her with calls and text messages until he finally got married to another Asian woman. For Terry, that was a close call and she was just too happy to escape another batty marriage.
It took a couple of marriages for my friend, Ronald M., to find the girl of his dreams. In all his relationships he said, “I was always looking for something, call it a bonding of spirit, a synchronization of wants and needs. But I found it at last and now, I am deliriously happy.”
For Serafin P., to be in love is a total commitment. “My girl must be willing to shoot for the moon and back with me. That is why I am a firm proponent of family planning, he said with a wink. ”
I am convinced that love is a mystery of its own. How do you explain falling in love with someone whom you hated from the get go? That’s exactly what happened to Rowena A. She recalled dreaming of marrying into a family just like that of her talented piano teacher.
She thought that would make her offsprings musically inclined as well. But she said she was never in good terms with the son of her teacher until their last years in college when they reconnected and found that they were really meant for each other after all. He would be her first and last boyfriend for they married soon afterwards, when she was just 22 years old and was preparing to leave the country for an internship abroad.
So there you are, my friends. If you find yourself in any of the above categories, we perfectly understand. Love is crazy and defies any explanation. Whatever it is, it is still the emotion that makes the world go round and no one seems to mind at all. – NWI
