In 1994, the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorder (DSMN-IV) in a limited study demonstrated that one percent of the population exhibited narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) and three percent of men and one percent of women had antisocial personality disorder (ASPD).
Narcissists and sociopaths are people who lack empathy, tend to be deceitful, manipulative, and aggressive, and have no sense of moral responsibility. Many of them, though not all, engage in criminal activity.
A more comprehensive study by the National Institute of Health (NIH) from 2001 to 2005 had even more chilling statistics. The NIH study showed that 6.2 percent of the population had NPD and an average of 3.7 percent had ASPD, with a 5.5 percent rate in men and 1.9 percent in women.
If this is not bad enough, consider this. Many people are drawn to, and even admire both. Worse, there are a significant number of people who are fascinated by the 1.2 percent of men who exhibit significant levels of psychopathic behavior. Not all psychopaths, by the way, are sociopaths, and most people aren’t drawn to the extreme psychopath, such as a serial killer, the similarities between the two (three of you count narcissists) is the devil-may-care attitude and tendency toward rule-breaking.
People without empathy or a sense of moral boundaries can cause a lot of damage. So, why do so many people find them fascinating?
Part of it the innate human desire for unbridled liberty. Sociopaths don’t recognize rules or limitations. To them, the demands of parents, supervisors, or the government are suggestions that they feel free to ignore. They love power, and often gain it. The kind of power that is not bound by morality or consequences. They do whatever they want, even if convention says its wrong and they never miss a beat. Perversely, even when we suffer from their actions, many admire their ability to ‘game the system.’
While few of us would openly admit it, there is a certain excitement in breaking the rules. Sociopaths get a thrill out of getting away with it.
Watching a sociopath at work, in my mind, is like slowing down at the scene of an auto accident. We’re horrified at the thought of seeing mangled, bloody bodies, and fascinated at the same time. We seem to be drawn to those whose audacity and defiance enable them to play by their own rules. Whether it’s in politics or business, the sociopath does things that hurt many, and yet, even some of those who are hurt, are still often drawn to the author of their pain, like spouses who come to the defense of a spouse who physically abuses them., or kidnap victims who succumb to Stockholm Syndrome and develop a bond with their kidnapper.
Sad to say, it’s very likely that everyone reading this knows at least one sociopath or narcissist. We meet them at all ages. Like the kid in school who bullies all the younger kids, but runs screaming and crying to him mommy when someone stands up to him, or the jerk who loves teasing and name calling as long as he’s the one doing it, but who becomes defensive or enraged when he’s the subject of teasing or name calling.
There are some ways you can defend yourself against these people. First establish and maintain boundaries of behavior that you will or will not tolerate. Keep your interactions with this type of personality brief and to the point and avoid engaging them emotionally. This includes not giving them personal details which they can use to push your emotional buttons.
If you’re trapped in a relationship with a sociopath, such as an abusive family member, seek support and guidance immediately. Don’t expect them to correct their own behavior. Most importantly, don’t fall into the trip of pitying them, an emotion they will try and evoke. They don’t merit pity, they need therapy. If they try to avoid it, they need to be avoided as much as possible. | NWI
